It’s Wayne’s World

Wayne Rooney is in the form of his life, another match winning performance from the world’s best player as United eased past a sorry AC Milan side consisting of ageing stars, some of whom played their final games on the European stage. Forget David Beckham, this was the Rooney show.

As Emile Heskey raced through for a one-on-one with Adam Federici I did wonder if the bed-ridden Gabby Agbonglahor had as much chance scoring. I didn’t fancy the big lump finding the back of the net, and by the looks of it neither did he. His tame effort was saved and in that instant Heskey’s season was encapsulated. Plenty of effort but not much end product. Many will argue this has always been the case with the former Leicester striker but up until recently he was seemingly guaranteed a spot in Fabio Capello’s starting 11. Let’s hope the Italian is starting to realise he is simply not worth it.

Am I the only one thinking that Arsenal will find their Champions League tie against Porto extremely difficult? There’s been no cup upsets in Europe’s 1st tier this season, and I think we’re owed one.
No William Gallas could mean that the defence is left badly exposed from set pieces with the appropriately hulking ‘Hulk’ ready [...]

Struggling a bit this week trying to drop some E’s into the mix, oioi!! So only got a couple but feel free to add some. To make up for the lack of players, I’ve put some goal action in here for you, and not may come better than Brazilian Eders efforts at 82. Éder Aleixo de Assis was a star of the brilliant Brazil team that missed out in Spain despite it being one of the finest collection of players ever assembled.

After a relatively tame week in comparison to most others this season we’ve seen England come through a tough game against the Wembley pitch, Arsenal make scoring look impossible and Man United make Wolves look good, but perhaps the surprise of the week was Scots beating the Czech Republic.

Genuine football legends share how it feels to wear the England shirt

Be our official MARS reporter at England’s pre South Africa training camp. Tell us why you should go and you could be a winner! Click here for more information.

Welcome to the all new babe of the week column. This week’s little stunner is Manchester’s finest Leanne Jordan.

When the gorgeous Leanne isn’t taking her clothes off in front of the camera she’s cutting people’s hair. If only I had some, I’d be straight down her salon for a short back and sides!

Last night’s friendly taught us much about the England team as the build-up to the World Cup began, but none more so than that Michael Carrick is the key to exploiting the limited strengths of our national team in South Africa as compared to the likes of favourites Brazil and Spain.

With the World Cup less than 6 months away, we have decided to start the build up early doors with an A to Z list of our favourite players who set the World Cup alight. Some are recent stars, some are relics from the days of black and white TV but all were mustard. The thing is, each week we will be using just stars whose surname was that week’s letter, eg: this week it is letter D which gives us loads of Frenchies & oldies. Tricky already! Gawd help the banter when we get to M, – Messi, Maradonna, Maldini, Moore ….McCoist!!!

Major quickie my bredren, I’m not in no fit state to ramble on about the plight of John Terry’s big I Am Untouchable shenanigans plus I deffo don’t want to pipe up about Ashley I’m Sooo Depressed Cole. It serves you both right. I want to dwell on the re-emergence of Leighton Baines, Warnock, Carlton Cole & Stewart Downing, even if my heads banging after watching the Paddys and Brazilians in a Guinness fuelled haze at the Emirates.